There is Something about New Love

 

There is something about new love. It's like a new lens fitted to suit your myopia. Faroff distances close in a blink. The world appears in an array of colours. You never knew there were so many. Has Red always been this bold? If Green means life, everyone must be alive. 

It makes you think everyone has a rainbow arching over their bedroom verandah. That everyone gets a massage every night. That everyone is in love.

There is another world that looms on the horizon. One different from yours. You find their news too distressing to listen to. It never makes sense why people fight and kill themselves over petty things, especially when the future is promising. Not when there is so much to live for. All those beautiful colours smeared by anger and strife. "Can never be me," you sighed.

There is something about new love. It comes with an overwhelming sense of bliss. And warmth. You make efforts to reach out to humanity. It's there in your little gestures. A smile for every child. A tip for every waiter. Even more, a goodbye kiss for every soul. 

Long after they have gone, you will wonder if they will ever find what you have found. You feel lucky to have found a replica of your heart's heart. Minds lay bare. Sentences complete itself. Bodies move in sync. Hands that cannot get enough of each other. 

"What can ever go wrong?" There are so many promises. So many dreams, built on a solid foundation; a love that runs deeper than time. 

"It is us against the world," you told him. 

"There is nothing in this world we cannot conquer together. The world may fail, but not us."

I saw one for myself last weekend. I escorted my best friend off the singles market. Still basking in the glory of her wedding, I went off to rant my excitement to another. My neighbour is a good listener. 

"If only you were there, I told her, you would have seen for yourself. Their love is so beautiful."

Then, I will sigh and start all over again in case she missed a detail.

She could have just told me I bored her or moved out of the neighborhood. Why did she have to prick me with a sting of reality? It hurts.

 "So it seems. But it's always like that in the beginning, she said. Give them a few more years, everyone will show their true colour. Until then, don't get your hopes high." 

The last line was wasted on me. It came too late in my life to be of much use. My hopes had already been stacked high. 

Forgive her Lord, for she knoweth not what she sayeth. It is my penalty for prattling. I should have just taken a nap at home. 

I dared argue. Not because I doubt the veracity of her stance. Quite the opposite. In fact, Nigeria's divorce rate increased by 14% in 2018. It has continued to grow steadily since then. This means that realistically, two out of every ten marriages face divorce. 

It consolidated her stance. “There is no need for all that fanfare,” she insisted. 

"Would you rather they hold their wedding after they pass their first solidarity test?"  I asked. 

"What would even be the benchmark? 15 years?" I've seen older couples divorce. Ask Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates if you doubt me. 

Photo Credit: Mayur Gala

Don't get me wrong. I am a realist too. I pride myself in my rationality and good judgment. Yet, I do not see why I should not share in a couple's joy because it may end. Or rejoice not-so-hard because it won't last long. Heck! I don't even see why I've to be pessimistic in the name of being realistic. It's like proving the law of attraction. Attracting what ought not be. 

If two of 10 marriages fail, there is an 8 to hold onto. It means there will be 8 successful ones if both parties are willing to work on their marriage. 8 is a lot, if you ask me - compared to 2. 

If newlyweds are not swept up in the wave of their new love, how will it stand in trials? If they do not cling to their love in its pure and unadulterated form, how can they do same when it is freckled and brittled? 

By now, you do not need a soothsayer to tell you that your best jewelry is made of gemstones. You would see it for yourself. Why they never fail to catapult you to the spotlight. And glisten under the sunlight. You would have also seen it lose its luster and dull with age. You must have felt the temptation to abandon it. To go off seeking for better statements. But you know better. So you put in the work. You polish! Hard. 

There is no better abrasive for a failing marriage than memories made at the beginning of the journey. When you walk down the lane, you will try hard to hide a smile. The mushiness of your insides. Now you know why you linger when there is no reason to stay. 

It is true we won't all enjoy marital bliss. But we can at least try - with an open mind.

P.S: I escorted my best friend off the singles market. There was no better muse for this post.

I love love. I didn't realize I had written on it (again) till I was halfway. Click here to read my first musings.

To every Rose that grew from Concrete Blossom!